Today is one of those days where my heart is beating wide open... I am sure listening to Band of Horses is helping that feeling right along! I am just acutely aware today of how important all the moments in life are...The amazing ones... the sad ones... the scary ones...the moments filled with incredible hope and joy...the empathetic moments... those moments in between any discernible feelings... They are all so incredibly important, especially the moments where we stop to appreciate all that has happened and will happen.
Sure, I don't always appreciate every moment, but, I am working on that. I am working on removing the good/bad dualistic judgment I have had for most of my life (thank you western society!)...I am attempting to move away from 'either or' and start looking at things as 'both and'. It's hard. SUPER HARD, breaking a life long habit, but allowing myself to expand my own capacity is also really rewarding...
It's crazy how things in my head have begun to shift since I decided to loosen my grip on the illusion of control I had over my life... I have spent a lot of time giving the advice that I am finally beginning to take myself...let go and let it flow. I'll admit, letting go is insanely scary at the start, but it is insanely freeing if you can just white knuckle through the scary part! I honestly feel as though I found that rhythm in my life I had lost for a bit, and once the rhythm re-appears, it is tough for your heart to do anything but beat wide open...
I am so excited to finally be back to that place where I am happy and secure within myself...where no matter what happens in a day I choose how it effects me. I really, really like this new relationship I am in with myself, it seems as though I have been searching for a partner for a life time and I am just now realizing that what I was searching for was within me all along. This is the best relationship I have ever had...sometimes it is hectic and scary, but at least now I know that I am always right there with me! And, it's true, No One's Ever Gonna Love You more than I do...
