Sunday, August 14, 2011

Closed Doors, Open Windows.

Since I have been a bit gloom and doom lately, I thought it high time I do a happy/grateful post. 

So, to start, I am grateful for all the little struggles the last few months-and they have all been little-even if they have felt overwhelming.  I am finally to the point where I think that I am ready to make some big and necessary changes.  I am finished spinning my wheels, feeling stuck, and acting like a powerless victim.  By the end of the year I will have begun looking for a new job and will be setting plans in motion to make all the things I want to happen in my life come to fruition.  I am on the upswing and have a good amount of confidence that I will make it happen.  Struggle is never for nothing and it is certainly not forever.  Although I will say that I know making these changes will come with new and different struggles, but I welcome the new challenges. 

A few weeks back, I was surprised and humbled to find out that a trip I had desperately wanted to go on would be happening due to the INSANE generosity of friends- and for that I am incredibly grateful... like beyond words... like I have never received a gift on such a crazy scale.  And the awesomeness and gratitude doesn't stop there.  My best friend from high school moved to California 11 years ago.  In that 11 years I have seen him 3 times; with the last time being 3 years ago.  We talk on the phone all the time, but- come on.  Talking on the phone is just NOT THE SAME!  Anyhow, when I found out about this trip, my brother from another mother suggested I contact my friend and see if he could meet us. And guess what? I found out this week that he and his beautiful wife will indeed be able to meet up! I AM SO EXCITED I cannot really explain it!

So, this week I have been forcing myself to stop looking at the door that just slammed shut in my face and instead climb through the window that was open right next to it.  So far, it is working.  I have poked my head through the window, and I will say- the skies are clear and blue and the landscape is lush and green.  Now, all I have to do is hoist myself up and slink on through.  I generally spend so much time staring at the closed door that I never notice the open window.  The window is pretty high up, so I will need to whip myself into shape to get up there and through- but it is certainly doable with a little conditioning. And, it just so happens that at this point I have a fair amount of free time to devote to it.  So all I can say is- YAY!!!! Yay for struggles, setbacks and victories.  Yea for having a clear enough mind to finally exit the pot I have been stewing in and begin a new endeavor.  And, most importantly- yea for friends who love and support me along the way- friends and family continue to be the most integral pieces of every success and victory in my life. Love you all!