Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Gratitude

I have been struggling with a bunch of life stuff lately as if those of you who read this regularly could not have guessed.  I am grateful for the struggle, for sure.  Without that struggle, growth is impossible and complacency inevitable, but it is sometimes tiring and draining, so I thought I would remind myself of the people in my life who have been and continue to be so incredibly supportive... both so I remember that I am not alone, and so that those people know how grateful I am for them.

The first two people on my list... my parents.  These are about the most solid two people you will ever meet.  They are kind, generous, loyal and encouraging.  My mother has given me the gift of perseverance and determination.  My father has shown me what it is to be fair, while also sticking to my guns.  There is no doubt in my mind that without these two, I probably would not be here today.  Both of them have loved and accepted me through all the trials and tribulations I subjected them to, far more than most parents ever have to deal with, trust me.  As they have helped me grow, I too have been privy to experiencing their growth as well.  As I was adopted, it makes it that much more intense that my parents would be a part of my soul tribe.  I truly believe that we were fated to be together as a family.  The bond we share is so much stronger than blood or genetics, we are connected at the soul level, and anyone who knows my parents and I's relationship could attest to this.  We are a pretty tight unit, something I resented in my teens, but am endlessly grateful for now.

Next, my brother from another mother.  We met about 15 years ago and have had that sibling connection from almost the start.  I do not know what it is, perhaps the fact that we are both only children...although I would venture to believe that there is something more to it, something I cannot put into words.  This guy is the epitome of big brother; when we were younger, he pieced me back together on multiple occasions after this stupid boy or that failed relationship shattered me to bits.  He, like my parents, has allowed me to fall on my face when I needed to, and has always been there to pick me up off the ground and dust me off.  He continues to show me what it is to be a true and authentic person.  He holds himself to the highest of standards in all areas of life.  He is fair minded, gentle hearted, caring and loyal.  He is the truest friend and best big brother ANYONE could ever ask for, and I am a better person for knowing him.  Much like the relationship with my parents, he and I have trudged through some pretty heavy stuff... stuff that would break a normal pair of friends up.  We have gone through losses, gains, trials, triumphs and through it all we have become all the more close and connected.  There is no other explanation for this guy, other than the fact that he is a member of my soul tribe.  I could not mention him without mentioning his lovely fiance, talk about one hell of a strong, determined, independent lady! In the short time I have known her I have come to believe there is no doubt that they not only belong together, but that she too is a part of my soul tribe.  She makes him happy and has embraced me with open arms. In just a little over a year, I feel as though I have known her my entire lifetime.  Not only has she enriched his life, but I can vehemently say, she has done the same for me.

And, as I have a brother from another mother, I also have a sister from another mother.  She and I have known each other for just as long... she was the bright, shining, ray of hope when I was an angsty teenager.  I gave this girl every opportunity to judge me, resent me or hate me and she did nothing but support me.  She still does today, she is one of a handful of people I feel comfortable telling anything to and I never have any fear that it will be repeated or held against me.  She listens and offers genuine, compassionate advice and has never once told me 'I told you so' even though she is right about what I do and what will happen, far more often than I am.  She is the kind of friend whom I can go weeks, months even, without speaking to, but just as soon as we re-connect it is as if no time has passed at all.  I have learned from her how to slow my roll, get out of my head and think with both my brain and my heart.  When I grow up, I hope to be the kind of true lady she is.

Next, is someone I have known for half as long as those first few people.  She is younger, but has a truly old and wise soul.  Since knowing her I have learned a lot.  I have learned that true friendships cannot be broken off because one is growing and the other has no patience.  I have come to realize what it is to be conscious in life and in my interactions with other humans.  I have come to know what it is to JUST LISTEN, because sometimes there is no need for advice.  Sometimes what we need is the presence of a soul from our tribe to love and embrace you exactly where you are.  She has shown me what it is to experience true empathy, she has shown me that nothing in my life is ever as cut and dry as I try to pretend it to be, and most of all, she has held a mirror up in front of me so that I may see who I really am, and I feel as though all of these things are seriously reciprocal, where others have modeled things for me to learn, she has modeled things for me to see that are already within me.  How blessed I am to have found her.

Obviously, there are others in my life who contribute in deep and rich ways, this is by no means an exhaustive list. Thanks to each of you who impact my life in a positive way everyday.  None of us are or ever will be perfect, but some of us do our part to love one another by supporting each other right where we are at- I am  grateful not only for those people in my life, but also for the continuing awareness of the people in my soul tribe.  If you haven't lately, take a moment to appreciate those people who make your life richer by being in it.