Sunshine and Cinco de Mayo... Perfect!
In continuance with yesterday's theme about how I think and process, today I am wondering about other people's processes. What makes people make the decisions (or not make the decisions) they make? I think that the answer is super complex... it has to do with a whole host of factors and goes all the way way back to being a wee one. Take for instance how a person grew up, and what was modeled for them, but that doesn't explain it completely...I know some people who basically raised themselves and are now pretty bad-ass human beings... I also know a few people who have lived their entire life with a silver spoon in their mouths and are lazy, non-productive complainers waiting on the world to give them what they think they are owed.
So, I think the degree and kind of nurturing people get has some to do with it... along with that, environment certainly assists in development at all stages as well. And by environment I do not mean just your home... but early choices in peer groups... hell ANY choices in friends... if you hang out with a bunch of losers it may be tough not to follow suit, even if your parents love you and you have a decent home life... I was certainly a shiny example of that... I was the lazy sack of shit snorting drugs in the bathroom in high school, but I am not now... what changed?
Being that most of my friends are now parents I have had endless conversations about these very things with many of them. A couple in particular argue that your educational environment has a lot to do with how you turn out as an adult... Having been the *only* private schooler in my high school group of friends, I tend to go on the defensive whenever someone insists that private school is an advantage I had... I used to disagree with that... Although, after our conversation I have been dissuaded from my view point slightly...I don't think it matters whether the school is Catholic, private or public... I think it matters who is teaching/working in the school... are the classes too big for the teachers to care? Is the school too big for you not to know most of the children and parents around your child's age? These are the important things in my opinion... is your kid just another kid or are they one of the children the village is raising? Does that village extend beyond the school yard? As much as socializing your child is important, I think so too is socializing yourself as a parent...
Let's come back to that modeling piece... I think that kids are the most impressionable and amazing blank canvases... I also subscribe to the whole 'parents do what they can with what they have got'...to a certain extent...I think that as much as I ramble on about mindfulness this is MOST important when you are charged with the care of a wee one. And, this is not just the parent's job... we are all charged with being mindful as to what we present to the new generation that is beginning to arrive on the earth... this is another place where our Mr. Roger mentality needs to be booted... As adults why not support each other in these 'adult' endeavors such as parenting? Why judge what momma A does and what daddy B does? Instead, why not support the mommas and daddy's in our lives in whatever way we can.
Okay, so we have got: how you were raised, what you are exposed to... what else? What about when and where you were born... is there something to be said about stars aligning? I'm referring to astrology, another wildly popular topic I am sure! But I do think there is something to this piece as well... I think that the way in which we process and deal or avoid dealing with things in our lives has to do with our personality... which is linked to your astrology (in my humble opinion). Look at people you know... what makes a Taurus so likely to be bullheaded? Aquarians to be such free spirits? Sure, there is a certain amount about who we are and how we turn out that we can mold and shape, but I also believe that some of this is predestined by birth... I intend to look at this in more detail at some point, as I am pretty ignorant on the subject...
Wow, I have rambled on and not come to any conclusions really, except this- The difference in the ways we each live out our lives comes down to personal (NOT INDIVIDUAL) choice. If I am presented with a life challenge we can almost lay money on the fact that I will deal with it differently then another, but lets be clear, different is not individual or unique- because it has all been done before... I will merely make the choice based on my experiences and another will make their choice based on their experiences. I have said it before, I will say it again... it is all about mimetic structures... Even if I vow to do it differently than how I was raised... doing the opposite is in fact doing the same thing if you think about it... we will always mimic that which we know, even if we are not conscious of knowing it...
