Do you remember having it all figured out between the ages of 13-20? Well, I do. I remember feeling as though I knew exactly how things would unfold...from moment to moment at least- because I never really thought more than a moment or two in advance... my version of planning rarely moved beyond the sunset of the present day. And life seemed fairly simple. There was little reason to worry when all I ever thought about was the here and now. And, for that time in my life, that sort of non-planning worked.
As I come barreling down the home-stretch of 30 I am beginning to realize that at some point in life that spontaneity had to change. Not that I can never be spontaneous, more that I can no longer live my life ONLY in the moment. This is a slightly different concept than the one I preach about being present in the moment... it is true that we must be present in each moment or life will most certainly pass us by... but I think it is also true that life will pass us by if we never take the time to think and plan for a future.
I have had numerous conversations with people on both sides of this fence... the "Live for the moment!" camp offers some compelling ideas, some of which I subscribe to, but the "Think about your future" folks may be on to something as well. While I have only began the process of thinking about my future in any formal sense of the words in the last couple of years, I find the more time that passes, the more things become clearer. For one thing, these two camps of thought butt heads quite a bit. I think it is has something to do with the developmental leap of faith required to jump from never thinking beyond the present day to planning what you want for your life in years to come.
I have seen friendships, marriages, and careers dissolve over this very conundrum. Hell, if I am truly honest, I have left several jobs, and a number of relationships for the same reason. And, I will tell ya, when you are firmly planted in the live for the moment camp, those people in the getting my shit together camp seem all together insane. Now that I have uprooted my own personal campsite, I am beiginning to see things on the flip side of the argument. I am starting to understand some of what I used to call rubbish... It is actually important to have some type of plan... not to be swallowed up by what if scenarios, but at least to acknowledge that they are possibilities.
And anyone who knows me, knows how very close me and my friend De-nial are. I love to not deal with things by pretending they are not happening... ignorance is bliss right?! And, if I don't think about it now, at least I can be happy for the moment... until the moment comes when I can no longer ignore whatever it is anymore... and then I HAVE to deal with it. So I guess part of my admittance into the get your shit together club will have to involve breaking it off with my old friend Dee. Shit happens, things change- and further, they rarely change in the ways in which I want, or think they should. So, suck it up buttercup, things are gunna be just fine; how quickly you forget that you are the only one who can get you where you want to go.
