So, my brother from another mother is getting married this weekend. I am beyond thrilled for him... and for the last few days or weeks I have been completely sappy and sentimental. We listened to a few of the songs on their wedding playlist this past weekend, and I am not gunna lie, I cried-through most of it. Not sad tears, happy ones. Because if there is anyone in this whole world who deserves the kind of happiness, the kind of joy, the kind of pure love and contentment he has right now, it is him. He is the definition of the better man, he is the best friend and best big brother anyone could ever imagine.
I am unsure when or how we became close like siblings... maybe because
we suffer from only child syndrome... we are biologically pre-programmed
to go out and find and collect tribe members. Maybe it's timing, maybe
it's because we are so alike in many ways and so crazy different in
others... All I know is, I have never had a friend like him, and I
doubt I will find another sibling connection like it in my lifetime...
Lying in bed last night I started thinking about what he meant to me, what he has done for me, what he has taught me. I tried to remember the first time we met, and well, for those of you who know me, I have a TERRIBLE memory! So, I could not pinpoint that first meeting in the fog that was my teen aged years. I know it was about 15 years ago, and I know we had to have been at Bob Evans (where I waited tables) or Perkins (where he cooked and waited tables). I can remember countless nights, hanging out at either place, collecting a gaggle of life time friends, smoking cigarettes and drinking gallon after gallon of shit coffee. Being made fun of non-stop for my love of punk and ska, and slowly being converted to metal and hardcore. Yeah, those were the days.
The summer I was 17 I totaled my car. I was terrified to drive for MONTHS. No matter, my bfam drove me 15 miles to the shitty hole-in-the-wall truck stop I worked at, dropped me off, drove 15 miles home and then did it all over again when my shift was over. And never complained once, I don't remember if I ever thanked him for that... When I finally got a new car it was exactly what I didn't want, a standard. I remember going out with my dad to learn how to drive that clutch, I think I lasted about 2 minutes before I got frustrated and walked home. The next day, my bfam took me out and taught me in half an hour. Oh those hills, damn I hated them at first! But we did end up having some pretty fun times in that Toyota Celica, for sure!
He was there to pick me up and put me back together every time some stupid boy shattered my heart into a million pieces. Long since graduated, he suffered through my high school graduation, and two college graduations, bless his freaking heart! He agreed to stand up in my wedding, and then stood by me when I had to make the decision to call it off. When I thought things would NEVER get better again, he let me cry, he let me hurt, and then reminded me that it would. He has long since had standards for me and the way I should let others treat me, that have taken me over a decade to apply for myself! He is as loyal a friend as they come, even though it isn't a point system, it is.
He is the only friend I know who will drop everything and come to my aide if I need it that bad. What's that? Blown clutch, of course I will come tow you. You need an air conditioner put in, I will be right there. Yes, I would love to go to this shitty concert with you, because I know you want to go. His catch phrase is 'let's make it happen' and make it happen he does, on a daily basis. Over the course of our friendship, there have been so many times he could have reveled in that 'I told ya so' spot, but he hasn't. He has let me fall on my face, and then helped me dust myself off and start over, again, for the 400th time! All with the patience of a saint.
Memories aside, there is something he has given me that I will never be able to quantify or explain...although I can try. He has taught me the power of NEVER giving up. He has shown me that NO MATTER what shit life flings at you, it's a choice in how you run with it. You can sit around and wallow, or you can make something happen. He has taught me that life ain't easy, but putting in the elbow grease pays off, every time... even if it isn't in the time frame my impatient brain wants! His momma did a good job raising him- the manners, tenacity, and perseverance he has are a rare, rare combination these days FOR SURE.
In the past couple of years, I have had the distinct pleasure of watching him grow and transcend...I have witnessed countless light bulbs light up in his mind. I have seen him transform from the guy he was to the man he is today. I was there when his life path took a sharp, uncharted turn, and witnessed him find his way again... all with the kind of grace and dignity I can only hope to have someday. He met the love of his life, and has built an amazing life with her. I'd be remiss not to gush about her as well... When they first met, I was leery of her to say the least... I was convinced she was nothing more than another crazy bitch, and I was NOT gunna stand by and watch him get hurt again. Much to my surprise, she was as persistent at making him happy as I was at trying to hate her. And, let me tell ya, she makes it virtually impossible to hate her.
She is strong and independent, she takes shit from no one. She is confident, sweet, beautiful and generous... and it didn't take long to realize she didn't have a crazy bitch bone in her body! Eventually I was happy he had found someone to make him happy, I never thought such an amazing friendship would come out of this, but I am grateful for her every single day in more ways than you could imagine. She's taught me how to have fun again, how to laugh at myself, she has given me confidence and has secured a secret, sappy spot in my heart, I lover her...
Together, the two of them have restored my hope that there is such thing as true love, so long as you don't stay so bitter that ya miss it. They are a happy, gracious, and humble couple, who sincerely deserve and appreciate what they have. I have always been grateful for him, but I will be forever grateful for her, as she has brought that missing piece to his life's puzzle, as trite as it sounds, she really and truly completes him, and he her in every way. I could go on for days, but I'll stop! By the time this wedding weekend is over I will have exceeded my sappy quota for life!
To my big brother from another mother, and his soon to be wife, I love you to bits, congratulations Boss!!!!! Drink up every single moment, I certainly raise my glass to you both :)
