The Force

Well, now that the whirl wind that our culture calls 'the holidays' is over, it is time to take a deep breath and look to the new year.  I find it interesting to see what people make of a new year.  Some people treat it as a clean slate- no matter what happened last year, this one is afresh with possibilities- whatever happened last year can stay with last year.  Others make serious promises to themselves- resolutions- This year, I will loose weight, stop biting my nails, eat healthier, quit smoking or whatever else.  Me, I'm not so big on sweeping resolutions.  For one, I don't see the point in using one day a year to resolve to do something- plus, I know a bit about who I am.  I know that if I really want to be, I can be pretty fucking disciplined, but that has to happen on my terms, not because there has been a day designated on the calendar for all to hunker down and become more productive or less hedonistic. I think that any day is as good as another to make positive changes in ones life.

I do, however, like the idea of looking at a stretch of time in review...I have no intention of 'starting over', but I think it is important to take stock in where I have been in order to navigate in an informed way where I want to go.  Many people ended the year by asserting how terrible it was, and all I could think is- Really?! The entire year? Like everyday sucked?! How is that possible? Then I realized that different people have different outlooks, and there may have been a time in my life where I would have said that an entire year sucked.  I don't know if I want to say it's as dualistic as pessimism or optimism- although I suppose one could.  I think it has more to do with individual experience, and what we each take from those experiences.  Many people I know are still stuck in the thinking pattern that everything happens to them- so I could see where the whole year might seem to suck.  Me, I am good with knowing that everything happens for me, and that further it is not now nor will it ever be all about me.  Think about those two ideas.  Seriously, there is a whole lot of freedom in both.

So, I look at the year in review and here are the things that come immediately to mind-

• While everything happens for a reason, rarely does anything happen the way I think it should- or when I think it should.
• I am wrong a majority of the time, and that's alright as long as I can acknowledge it, learn from it, and move on.
• Nothing in this life is permanent, enjoy the moment while it lasts, because this one, like any other will pass, and another will follow.
• Sometimes, lessons come from what we may think to be the most unlikely sources.
• Keep your eyes, mind, and heart open at all times.

Yeah, yeah. I know, it's sappy to me too, but these are all points I do not want to forget.  The year was filled with super high ups and seriously low downs- I would have to say that 2011 started with an epic low and ended on an epic high note, and so far, it seems that 2012 is following a similar pattern.  I met some seriously amazing people. I had some unbelievable experiences, life changing conversations, and weathered quite a few storms.  And lets be honest, I did not spend the entire year in contemplation and growth.  I did my fair share of regressing and fucking up- in fact it is almost uncanny how things seemed to have come full circle in the last couple months of the year.  I woke up to many of the lies I had been telling myself, and decided to make some changes.  People came into my life that helped me to realize I wasn't good with  some of the situations in my life, and without even knowing it, they helped me alter those patterns, and that may be the single greatest victory of 2011. 

What I am about to say is probably the nerdiest thing I have ever said-In 2011, I saw Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back for the first time. I will admit to having originally written off these movies because of their cult following.  After actually viewing them and taking in the characters and plot line I can now say- I really think George Lucas was on to something with his concept of the Force.  Life really is all in the mind, how you think about things, and the discipline you exert in both your thinking and actions.  That energy can be positive or negative and can be manifested in good or evil ways in life.  A year can be all good or all bad, an experience can be devastating or life altering, it all comes down to the way you choose to think about it. I think Yoda said it best in Empire Strikes Back "Do, or do not...there is no try."  No other words could more aptly describe what 2011 taught me.  It is no longer acceptable to hide under the cop out of 'I am trying.'  In order to move forward I must commit to doing what I need to do, and to stop doing what doesn't foster the growth path I am on.  "Named must your fear be before banish it you can."