Start a Revolution!!!

Collaboration is back with avengence tonight! Grateful Mama and i have been kicking around the idea of writing an entry about all of the bad pick-up lines out there... The list involves only lines that she, I or some of our friends have had used on them.  So here is a list of the lines that are either so lame or worn out or just pointless that they will NEVER work. 

"You look like someone I have never met before!"
Really?  What is that supposed to mean exactly? Of course I look like someone you have never met before, because WE HAVE NEVER MET!!!! And, more than likely, we never will either.

"Are you tired? Because you have been running through my mind all day!"
I'm tired of hearing this line...shouldn't this have been retired in the 70's or something.  Number one rule for starting a conversation with a girl... be genuine and original!

"Your officially the hottest chick in this bar! I'm gunna build you a float out of ho-ho's  and ding-dongs!" Though this is creative, this doesn't matter when you were the only person in the bar that was voting. It is worth the laugh and the lame conversation that will likely follow.

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? 'Cause you must me an angel!"
This is one that I hope to never hear again. It is over-used and far from original. If this one is used, there will not be any conversation at all. Just walk away and go cry yourself to sleep.

"Do you know who you remind me of?"
Yes. I already know. I guess you can tell me again, if you must. I can only hope that I may simply remind you of me, but we all know that I'd be asking far too much! Save yourself the walk over and the effort that is required in discussing this topic.

"Hey! Did you just fart?! 'Cause you just blew me away!"
Maybe there are mixed opinions on this line. To my knowledge, it isn't exactly overused. It is worth the laugh and if you're cute and have the personality to woo me...it might work.

"Can I get your number?"
No.

"How's (your friend I have already had sex with)? Hey, you wanna hang out sometime?"
Seriously? This is not okay. It is rude to my friend and rude to me. Not only did you sleep with said friend, but I also walked in on you sleeping with her. This is just not good.

"Is that your feet that I smell? [No] Oh, must be your pussy then."
Hahahahaha! I don't really even know what to say. Though it is hilarious, I don't like the idea that you said my pussy was smelly. You probably will not be visiting that area. Nice try, though. Definitely an A for effort.
"You gonna come back to my house? I'll make you french toast in the morning."
or
"You gonna make me french toast in the morning?"
Both of these don't work because we all know there will be no french toast in the morning. However, it would be a whole lot better if there was!

"Hey girl, you play Halo?"
Oh, YS... The good old days. And no. I don't play Halo.  I do however enjoy long, tandem topless bike rides without you.

"Did you get the right pizza? I still have an extra." (from the pizza guy)
I did get the right pizza. You and I both know that I did. But, if this is the only way that you think you can have a conversation with me, then I guess there will be work to do.

"Do you mind if it takes him (his penis) a little bit?"
Yes. I do mind. Do you mind if I just show you the door? I am not into putting forth all that effort. Be ready or just go. You're wasting my time.

"I'd feel a lot better if I was waking up next to you."
Hmm, this depends on context really... if this is your opening line, I don't see you feeling alot better when you wake up... if your have worked up to this, then it may be just what the doctor ordered.

"You're like the girl next door."
Again, what does this mean exactly?! Where do you live? If you live on the eastside, this is not at all a complement, and by girl... do you mean little girl?! Because that is just disgusting. So, on the whole, I would say this is worn out and an epic fail.

"You look good, You look healthy."
Healthy? What is healthy exactly? Don't use lines that are so ambiguous it could be taken as an insult, it won't bode well for you.

"Nice outfit, it would look alot better on my floor."
This is just ridiculous.  Do you know how long it took me to pick this outfit out? I certainly do not want it on your floor.  And furthermore, enjoy my fucking outfit and the time I took to put myself together before you go insisting on taking it off of me.

"I'll just follow you home, to make sure you get there alright."
Ugh, yeah no.  You will not be finding out where I live tonight, or ever (and especially if you are going to blow up somebody's Escalade.)

""I'm too drunk for you to be out here all alone."
If your too drunk to speak correctly you are too drunk to speak to me. Spill your drink on someone else thank you very much.

"Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong."
Too bad it is probably more like a Little Smokie, go ahead and hop back on the Oscar Meyer Weinie mobile.

"If I had a nickle for every girl I saw as beautiful as you, I would have 5 cents."
Thank goodness that you would have an extra five cents. Hopefully next time that you use this you will up the anty.

"Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes."
Please, do not use this one. I will be sure to give you some precise directions to the door. Yes, my eyes are beautiful. They are the map to my soul. If you use this line, that map will certainly lead you to your certain doom.

"I wish I was DNA. So I could unzip your jeans."
This made me laugh. Clever and not one that you hear everyday, but it won't get you anywhere.

"I may not be the hottest guy in here, but I am the only one talking to you."
Ouch. The way to a girl's heart or bed, for that matter, is not to insult her. Way to make me feel like I am special or that I matter. Hope you enjoy your sad night at home.

"I love kids."
No, you don't. Not only do you not love kids, but I have immediately erased your existence from my mind as a potential anything. I think two things of you after you say this statement. The first thought is that you are a liar. My second thought is that perhaps you are a pedophile. Either way, this is not a winning line.

Lines that work:
There aren't any lines to report for ones that work. What would work is if you were honest, genuine, and didn't try so hard to impress me. Obviously it isn't working. If you think that it does work, refer back to the top... of lines that don't work.  If you really want to get the girl, it is not about a line at all.  It is about a conversation. Showing interest... maybe not even talking, but listening.  I realize that many guys don't give a shit about the girl, all they want is the girl parts for the night, but, sometimes life ain't easy.  And it's never easy if it is truly worth it.

Ladies, make them realize you are worth it... these lines would not be worn out and cliche if they did not work at least some of the time... care more about yourself than to fall for some stupid ass line in a bar! We can ban together and stop bad pick-up lines from spreading! If a guys want's your time, he better show you he is worthy of it!  And, just remeber, if all he can come up with is some worn out, insulting or lame line to get your attention, he will probably deliver the same performance in bed any way. We can start a revolution!

Credit where credit is due-thanks for the contributions ladies!
Laura G.
Erin W.
Kaylee H.
Tonya M.
McKenzie M.
Salome G.