Anyone who knows me knows I have a thing for the dive bar. I live in a city where most of the "it" places are concentrated on one, very short, street. All the cool kids hang out there, on the weekends most of the bars are crowded with 20 somethings, parading around in a hipster haze, drinking over priced PBR, and barely breathing in their skinny jeans. It exhausts me to think about it really... my days of dressing with whatever fashion is in went out the window with the popularity of 32 inch bottom JNCO's, and I refuse to drink something that reminds me of what a skunk smells like. Similarly, while I do own a few pairs of stilts disguised as shoes, I refer to them as my 'dinner shoes' for a reason- they are bearable just long enough to go to dinner, come home, and take them off. So needless to say, while I will still occasionally grab a drink with a friend in one of those "it" places, it is most often at happy hour on a weekday, before all the hip kids come out for the night.
The dive bar is different... each has it's own subculture, they are generally small, neighborhood watering holes, the same people go to the same place, day in and day out. The unspoken rules have been established for years, decades in most cases, and for the most part, everyone follows them. These are not the places you go for a fancy-pants martini or a scotch on the rocks. You won't find a craft beer in sight, and most of them offer only cans of beer for reasons that vary- bottles are more expensive, they can be used as weapons, etc. Anyone who knows me also knows I am a beer snob, life is too short for shitty beer, and if I can't afford a good one, I prefer not to drink at all- same goes for booze... with all that said, you'd wonder why the hell I would venture into these seedy joints, where the premier beer offering is Budweiser, malt liquor is a mainstay, and I am fairly certain they refill their top shelf liquor selections with well.
Truth is, there is SO much to learn about human nature in these places... well, in bars in general... they are great places to people watch... and, since I have already exhausted what the masses do at the hip little joints down town, I find it intriguing to venture out and observe other little veins of the bar culture. It's tough to do, since most of the people I know would rather stay in the comfort of familiarity than venture into the places I'd like to experience. I can't blame them really, none of the places have a 'good reputation', (although, I have determined that much of the bad wrap these places have, helps to keep them small and unadulterated). It's just another piece of what fascinates me about the whole thing. To me, these are the things that male the dive bar so evocative. I guess I should say that I do not go into these places looking to fit in, it is never my intention to stay in any one bar for more than a drink or two. All I need is enough time to sniff out the vibe of the place and then I am happy to saunter out in much the same fashion I sauntered in.
What can you learn in the span of one or two drinks you ask? Well, a lot really, in fact much of what I learn, I learn before I ever walk through the door. Often times when I see a place, I will ask around about it... has anyone ever been there? What's it like? The answers to these simple questions are often quite amusing, especially after I go in and experience the place for myself... many a tall tale have been told about these places "Don't go in there, you will get shot", "You will start a fight as soon as you walk in the door", I could go on, but you get the picture. It's interesting to note that when it comes to small, hole in the wall bars, racism and classism are alive and in full effect. That's a black bar, that's a biker bar, that's a white trash bar... all I could think was, really people?? It's like that? Unfortunately, to some extent, it's true. But ALL of us feed the stereotypes.
So, you can see how getting into these places is a bit of a task. I don't go alone, because I don't go to any bar alone, no matter how trendy or divey it is. And who I go with to these types of places is an important decision, not because it matters so much who I am seen with, but it matters a lot who can go in and be respectful. People are very protective of 'their' bars... especially when said bar is small, with predictable clientele. When I started getting into the whole dive bar thing a few years back, a very wise friend offered some sage advice- I was frustrated that no one would ever go with me and that the main excuse was that I, being a girl, would start a fight just by walking in- my friend said... "First, it is rarely a woman who starts a fight in a bar. Most often it is a man who feels as though his ego has some how been accosted... if you go into a place and recognize that you are on someone else's turf, being polite and respectful, everything will be fine." And ya know what? She was right. So even if I could get an adventuresome friend to agree to go along, it won't work if they are hot tempered or ego driven.
But, every so often, the stars align, I am in the right place at the right time, and I get to check a couple more places off my list... yes, there is a list, it is a mental list, but a list all the same. It is categorized into geographic locations and is amended frequently. The town I grew up in has the most for such a small area- 5 to be exact. Before this weekend, I had two of the five checked off. After this weekend, I am happy to report, that only one remains. Both of the bars I went to this weekend have been labeled 'east end' bars, which means something altogether different where I am from versus where I live now. In the small town I grew up in, the east end is another way to say black... nobody ever explains it that way, it's just assumed; whereas in the city I currently reside, I live on whats referred to as the "east side" which is inferred to be the 'white trash' side of town. You can imagine that these two places have entirely different kinds of dive bars, each with their own nuances, cultures, and clientele.
I hadn't intended to ramble on with such a long background about the list or the ideas behind the list, so I will save the bits about my actual experiences for another post... perhaps later today or tomorrow... but do come back, these are interesting topics if you are at all interested in the way we humans interact; we are certainly one of the most amusing species I can think of, and you never know, maybe one of you will change your mind about what you think of the dive bar... This life is after all, all about experience right? So, why not try to broaden your horizons every once in a while eh?
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