Contemplations of a Shopping List

AHHHH!! This is a full week today of not feeling great... I am getting really tired of solitary confinement to bed.  Anyway, all this alone time has left me lots and lots of time to think and contemplate which got me thinking about a subject a few of my friends and I have been joking about recently....

We are all semi-recently single and have begun to look at ourselves and our relationship patterns- what works, what doesn't... seems fairly simple until you are really tasked with doing it...then the water gets a little murky.  So, we have realized that finding a mate is a lot like shopping.  One friend put it very succinctly- I will paraphrase to the best of my memory- "I like shopping at Target.  They have tons of selection for many different things and I can generally go there and get all of my shopping done in just one trip.  But sometimes, they don't have exactly what I am looking for.  They may have a cheaper, chintzier version, but for the investment I am about to make, it simply is not what I want or need.  It is tough not to just say screw it and buy the inferior product... it is right here, much more convenient then having to schlep around to various stores looking for the right thing... I could just buy this inferior product and try to repair it down the road when it breaks... or I could even throw it out when it malfunctions and purchase an entirely new one.  It's an impulse buy really."  And boy am I a sucker for an impulse buy... it is not at all what I need or want, but it's right there, lookin so cute and stylish...  My other issue is that I tend to find something that works for me (maybe not what works best, but works) and purchase ten of the same item... this explains why 99% of my wardrobe is black.  Black shirts, black dresses, black shirt dresses... more then once I have been accused of being 'Gothic' and while I am not sure what exactly that entails, I do get that it may be an easy conclusion to come to based upon what I wear day in and day out. 

But those black items... most of them are faves in my wardrobe... everyone is always encouraging me to 'step out on a limb' wear some color... and I have...I recently purchased a red dress.  Phew! talk about stepping out on a limb! I feel as though I am screaming at everyone when I wear it... HEY! HEY YOU! LOOK AT ME, I AM WEARING A BRIGHT RED DRESS! Of course, that is not what I mean when I wear it, and I am guessing most people don't see it that way, but I feel funny none the less... I suppose coming out of my comfort zone is going to come with a certain amount of...well, discomfort.  And, no pain no gain right?

So, you get the picture right? I have toyed with this story in my head for the last couple of months and now I think it is time to take the next step.  I need a shopping list.  Every single time I go to the grocery without a list I end up regretting it... I forget the one damned thing I went to the store for to begin with or I come home with a bunch of ridiculous ingredients that do not go together what-so-ever, or I spend a fortune on junk.  Same thing happens when I go to Target- no list and I walk out with makeup, shoes and jewelry when what I needed was deodorant, shampoo and face wash.  It is tough not to get distracted by all the pretty, shiny trinkets in the store- even if I walk in with the best of responsible intentions, my inner three-year-old-impulsive-self-gratification kicks in and I walk straight past the deodorant to the nail polish.  What I need, you can't get at Target, it is more of an 'investment piece'- something I need to shop around for so I can be sure to get the best possible product for my time, money and energy. 

So in a preemptive effort to derail my inner self saboteur, I think it is necessary to compile a list of what I am shopping for... and after hours of further contemplation I now realize this is not going to be an easy list to put together.  I did not realize how tough it is to put some of this into word form... I'll get there though... I can't make a purchase until I finish the list and I can't make the list until I figure out exactly what I need!