Bassett Hounds in the Sahara

Well, I am attempting to come in for a (shaky) landing to the world of the living today.  It has been a long time coming. I had the tonsils yanked on Tuesday, and despite my best intentions to be in tip top shape by Wednesday...to no avail!  When the body demands us be still-still is the only thing we can be.  Half way through Wednesday when I realized a miraculous bounce back would not be in the cards, I decided that I would sleep until I felt better.  No such luck on that front either. I should have known this- taking prednisone (a steroid prescribed to help reduce the swelling) is NEVER pleasant or restful.  Combine that with codeine elixir and you get relatively the same result as if you were to go out on a vodka energy drink bender... NOT PLEASANT!! Your body and brain move in slow motion due to the pain meds, while your heart races and your hands tremble from the steroids...perhaps the most attractive combination ever, especially at night when the night soaks come from the steroids.  It is tough to describe in words the kind of disharmony my body has been going through the last few days...

Western medicine is a funny thing, we take pills to 'feel better' but often suffer more from the side effects than from the original symptoms... we have all seen  the anti-depressant commercials on TV... the side effects for those meds are enough to make a depressed person say 'you know what, fuck it, it isn't worth it.'  Sure, we will relieve your depression, but in turn you will gain 75 lbs, be unable to control your bladder or rectal functions or facial expressions, you will drool on your self non-stop, your hair is going to fall out and one in 10,000,000 start lactating, which is fine because not only are you now wholly unattractive, but even if you have an ounce of libido left these meds will turn your vagina into the sandy, arid Sahara or have your dick standing at attention like the floppy ears of a bassett hound.  But, hey it could be worse right? AT LEAST your not depressed.

When I arrived at the hospital to be prepped for surgery the nice lady getting me ready told me that she was going to be giving me a shot to numb the spot they would be inserting the IV in.  Really? So, you are giving me a needle to numb the spot where you are sticking a needle?!  I have had IV's before, they are not extremely pleasant, but no worse than the numbing shot for the shot. They gave me a pill to empty my stomach, and then one to counteract the heartburn that would come from that AND THEN one for the nausea that would undoubtedly result from ingesting all those pills on an empty stomach.  Talk about the long way around eh?! What are we coming to in this world?  We have pills to counteract the pills we take to feel better which inadvertently make us feel worse... kind of like once you have your tonsils removed you'll never have a sore throat again, you just have to endure two weeks of the worse sore throat ever after having them removed then- your in the clear! Awesome.

So, what's my point in all of this? Hell, I don't know, I forgot what I was trying to say five words into this post.  I sit hear today, wanting desperately to articulate all the stuff that has been rotting in my brain for the past 5 days and I am stuck.  My brain's still stuck in the codeine cloud, my fingers are heavy to drag across the keyboard, and I am not feeling particularly articulatory today.  But alas, I will carry on... perhaps tomorrow I will be blessed with making a little more sense out of it all...maybe my throat will be a little less sore and my brain a slight bit sharper... I guess we shall see.