Where Does the Time Go?

This is not an easy question to answer. After a conversation last night about timing, I got to thinking about this concept.  I originally stated that I thought there was no such thing as good timing.  I was challenged on this point, and now I am thinking a bit differently.  While I do believe there is really no such thing as good timing, I also do believe that any given situation IS all about timing. And that there is no such thing as a coincidence... Phrases like 'Man, that was good timing', really mean that whatever happened was meant to be, in my mind.

The frustrating thing is that timing doesn't always sync up with any given person's idea of what we want and when, and then we are back to the paradox of patience versus waiting.  Timing is one of those things makes me feel uneasy and unsure of myself... is this right, at this moment? I used to be much more sure footed when it came to just going with my gut, but lately I find myself right on the verge of going with my gut and then a flood of thoughts clouds my judgment... I factor in consequences, possible repercussions and what effect my actions could have on other people.  And I pretty much hate it.  I feel as though I spend all of my time wondering about what ifs and end up spinning my wheels as opposed to taking action and actually doing something.

This is not really who I am.  I am the throw caution to the wind girl. I am consequences be damned.  Feel your way through life, if it feels good it must be good, I am the jump first, look during free fall, land on your feet kind of girl.  I never thought about how awareness in other areas would effect the core of how I live my life.  And while I do hate cautionary me, I do know that at least some parts of her are a good change.  I just feel like I may have gone a bit too far to the other side.  Where I used to jump without looking I now do not jump at all.  I want to get back to the space where I can jump if it seems worth it after an initial look-see... gives a whole new meaning to all or nothing eh?

Awareness is a good thing to have, so that when the timing is right I CAN actually realize it.  I just need to exorcise the mental clutter that is currently in my way.  I think that kind of mental exorcism could benefit me in multiple ways, not least of all with the ability to have more patience, which seems to run ever more short all the time.  I think I will start by curbing my mental masturbation; I have been spending far too much time swimming around in the scenes I create in my mind...if I were a visionary I would make pretty amazing movies.  But, since I am not, I need to realize that creating all that stuff in my head is dangerous with no apparent outlet- creative or otherwise for it. 

Time flies when you aren't paying attention, that is where it goes. The time is now.  The place is here.  The moment is upon you. So reach out and grab what it is that is staring you in the face.  Hold it in front of you and EMBRACE IT!!!  A hint of skepticism is good for us all every now and then, but don't let that skepticism keep you from jumping.  After all, some of the best timing in life, happens in those unscheduled moments of free fall.