Put a fucking bow on it.

Well, like it or not, it's here.  That time of year when many of the world's citizens rush around in a frantic frenzy, spending money and time they do not have, to buy shit for people that really don't need it- then we bring it home, wrap it in ridiculous paper, put a fucking bow on it and proudly present it as some misguided token of love and affection.  And the older I get, the more I CANNOT STAND IT.  That's right kids, I hate the fucking holidays.  Last night I talked to a friend of mine who was frustrated about her bank account being in the negative because she 'had to' buy Christmas presents.  And sadly, I get it.  So many people perpetuate the propaganda of Christmas consumerism- so and so bought for me, so I in turn have to buy for them, and so on and so on.

This has long been a point of contention for me- I do not want to buy people shit because some unwritten social nicety dictates it... don't get me wrong, I LOVE giving gifts when the feeling strikes- like when I see something that just reminds me of someone, or it makes me think 'so and so would LOVE that'.  What I am talking about is rushing around and stressing over giving a gift for the sake of giving a fucking gift.  We all have those people in our lives, the ones that have every mother fucking thing on the planet, need nothing, have no discernible interests or hobbies, and yet, we are supposed to magically pull some fantastical gift giving miracle out of our asses for fear of being judged if we don't.  And, I end up caving, EVERY FUCKING YEAR, as I have done this year. 

When I was a child, I loved Christmas.  Not because of the presents, but because of the people.  I remember the traditions, getting to see my family that I rarely got to see. Being together.  Enjoying each other's company.  Visiting nursing homes, adopting families through my girl scout troop.  Volunteering at the food pantry or soup kitchen.  That is the kind of holiday spirit I can get into. But somewhere along the lines of 'adulthood' all of that spirit got watered down and scheduled out.  Last night I felt so overwhelmed by the frantic holiday pace and schedule that I was actually too worked up to wrap the few gifts I did get for people.  I will finish what I have already begun, but I think this year for Christmas, I will  make a resolution.  In the coming year, I am going to try to celebrate the 'Christmas Spirit' in this way, all year long...I want to appreciate my life everyday... and I feel as though the best way to do that is through giving of self, NOT giving of stuff.  I am not angry, I just think we have REALLY strayed from what this season used to be about... and maybe all I can own is the I.  I have strayed from what this season means to me.  So, in an effort to come back down to earth, I need to remember that I am grateful for all of the experiences and people this past year has graced me with.  And I hope to continue on in my quest for light and consciousness.

P.S.
I realize there are some of you out there who LOVE this time of year.  And I don't hold it against you.  You are more than welcome to revel in whatever magic the holiday season brings you- enjoy it!