Life Support

I originally posted this in April of 2011, re-posting as a reminder to myself that life is indeed cyclical.   I would be remiss not to link the posts about Tough Bitch and my Wonderwall here as well.  Later today, I hope to upload a post about the connection between the three and where I am at with them a year and half out. I have never claimed to be perfect, but in the interest of the original intent of this blog, I must be transparent, even if only to myself!  I have to sometimes remind myself that being human doesn't necessarily make me a hypocrite- and that sometimes it takes me many, many tries before certain life lessons actually sink in. In the mean time, none of us are perfect, but we are all Pretty Young Things :) 


All my life I have prided myself on being dynamic, ever evolving, trying to grow at every opportunity etc.  But recently, I realized that the growth I pride myself on happens in spurts as opposed to the continuous flow I had once thought I maintained.  So, that got me thinking-what is it that allows my growth to wax and wane? What is it that makes some people in this world great and others to be content with good enough?

The answers to those questions have been revealing themselves to my consciousness lately... Not that the answers were not there all along, more that I am finally coming to a spot where I can be consciously aware of them.  The disruption in the flow of growth, as well as what allows some to settle for 'good enough' comes from within- Now, I am not saying that anyone (including myself) has that kind of inner dialogue- like "well, it seems as though we have made great strides, so lets just take a break" Nor am I saying that any of us really know that we are settling for good enough when we do.  But growth is an extremely tricky, slippery slope; and sometimes it is easy to lose ourselves in that singular moment of patting ourselves on the back for a job well done.  Then, before ya know it you have 'settled down and settled in' for the next 6 months, year, maybe even decade.

That shift in focus for me, usually comes from and outside source that I allow myself to be distracted with (Oh look! Something shiny!!!) And without even realizing it, I have derailed my growth attempts in favor of the newest favorite thing in my life.  This business of growth is more of a discipline than a process.  It takes time, diligence, practice and perseverance, it really is no wonder that we end up taking breaks from it... it is tough stuff!!!  The problem with breaks is that (at least for me) they never end up being 15 minutes, or even an evening...they turn in to that settle period without my even noticing.

Once the settling has begun, it overtakes most areas of life, and the backslide down the slippery slope begins.  It's not a landslide pace, it's slow, centimeters a month so to speak... at this pace it is very tough to even realize one is in backwards motion, and so the backslide continues on down the slope.  Now, we are not only not growing, but we are also slowly slipping into old habits, patterns and familiarities.  Things that we had previously grown out of or evolved from are now beginning to re-appear in our lives, and they fit like a tailored suit, so we do not notice, because for the most part we are 'content', and when we are content there seems no reason to change... if it ain't broke don't fix it right?  But what happens if it is broken, and we have merely convinced ourselves of a new reality of 'broken'?

I learned recently that growth comes out of the proper mix of challenge and support... If we are not challenged in life, we see no reason to reach forward and upward... why would we when where we are seems good enough?  But, without the proper amount of support to those challenges we will feel defeated, deflated and frustrated, and consequently we will quit trying to grow.  Makes sense really, and, I think this hypothesis further answers my two original questions.  In order to remember that I am trying to reach the bar in front of me, the one that remains just millimeters from my grasp, I need to surround myself with people who are also trying to reach for their own bars.  We will share similar struggles and victories on our own respective quests for growth and greatness, and that dialogue will allow me to stay focused on my bar.  I think that it is this process that leads some out of 'good enough' to greatness...whatever that may mean for each of us. 

The key, as it always seems to come back round to, is awareness.  Awareness of self and the processes that are happening in the mind on the moment to moment basis, awareness of others...do those that I surround myself with share similar goals of yearning for their own personal growth and greatness?  Because, if not, this can certainly derail my process, and I have no more time to wane... so, on this day I re-affirm my will to do as much as I possibly can to stay conscious of my own process as well as my surroundings... I want to support those who support me.  That being said, I cannot support those who cannot on some level support their own growth because they will never be able to support me.  That slippery slope of growth becomes deep water to tread when others around us are drowning... and the only thing that drowning victim can do in their moments of despair is try everything to take you down with them... I was a life guard long enough... I think it is time to focus on my own bar.